‘Why do you have to go so far? How are you going to stay safe? Are you 100% sure about this? I just don’t know how you’ll survive.’
I’ve been asked to write a piece for a popular tour group looking at solo female travel - and it reminded me of the questions/curiosity/looks of complete horror when, as a woman, you announce that you’re off to see the world on your own.
Just you and your vagina - because having one of these makes you a target in the big wide world.
I wondered whether male solo backpackers are faced with the same raised eyebrows, looks of confusion and spluttering shock at why they would want to do such a thing? I posted this question on my Facebook page earlier and was amazed at the responses from both sexes.
It seems that, yes, men may be subjected to family members or colleagues questioning their decisions but, on the whole, I think female solo travellers receive the worst of it.
Whereas men are likely to hear jeers or jokes over their decision to wander solo, women are more likely to be almost put off by everything that could (and judging by the conviction some people have - would) happen to them if they step out of their front door.
It may be 2016 but it’s still not totally accepted for women to go off alone without people bringing up safety stats, questioning their mental state, or even sending clippings of tragic and awful attacks on lone women travellers. Yes, really. I wanted to enjoy the buzz of booking my first ever flight on my own, not be scared the bejeezus out of at such horror stories. Would male solo travellers be sent these terrifying tales or just clapped on the back and told to sow their seed as they went off globetrotting? Cheering ‘lads, lads, lads’ as they packed their backpack?
We should all be aware of our personal safety, use our common sense and trust our instincts when in unfamiliar situations. This goes for men AND women. Of course, sexual assaults are more likely to happen on women than men and this is something that the ladies out there need to be extra aware of. But, by using that brain of yours and following your gut, you can minimise risks when you’re away, such as not going out late (or drunk) in dodgy areas on your own, not taking shortcuts and walking through parks or alleyways in the dark, etc.
Women, more than men, probably do need to be more vigilant wherever they go in the world but being vigilant is the small price to pay for what solo travel can bring you. Something that many back home ignore as they just look at the negatives concerned with your wish for wanderlust. Travelling solo as a woman still surprises many people.
Other people’s apprehensions and worries can dull your spirit if you’re not careful. As long as you have a dose of common sense and do your homework before you travel then you will soon realise that the scariest thing is not booking that trip.
I’ve met women on my travels who have bigger balls than a lot of men I know. They are the types of strong, confident and self-assured ladies that you want in your team. We are not all meek, wilting flowers that will faint at the first moment of difficulty. Having a female reproductive system won’t make us spend our days locked away from the big wide world in fear at the ‘what if’s’ that could happen.
Yes, we may have more to think about than men when we travel alone - dressing appropriately and covering up in certain places, being switched on to our surroundings for our own personal safety and even knowing some self-defence that you hope never to have to use. Travel makes you tougher, it gives you the skills and confidence to get your way around the globe knowing you have to rely on your own instincts. A valuable skill that can be lost if we don’t use it.
Whether you’re a man or woman, being bold and brave enough to grab your passport and head off alone may be met with a degree of concern (ranging from caring to scaremongering) from loved ones, but, ultimately, you will also discover a sense of awe and respect for having the courage to go and do what many believe they can’t.
I also think that we also need to be vocal about the times when nothing bad happened on our solo trips, when everyone you met didn’t want to rob, kill or rape you, when you returned home safely and in one piece.
We have a right to travel and I want to take my vagina everywhere - I encourage you to do the same!
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