I want to be alone.
Continuing my {Travel} How To… series and last weeks {Travel} How to: Stay Safe post I thought it was important to give you some more reasons why I created an alter ego called Tasty when travelling alone. Tasty (the name happened when some Swedish friends misheard my name Katy) is a ballsy strong woman who is confident and doesn’t stand for everyday sexist remarks or attitudes but sometimes having her isn’t enough.
Everyday sexism exists everywhere and when you are a female travelling solo it can be heightened 100 times. Let me give you some examples:
Myself and my best friend were in Paris for a fun weekend and for part of the day my French boyfriend and his friend came to meet us for lunch. As soon as the men left we were walking to a nearby bar and had two wolf whistles, a leering drunk man shout something in French and a shady looking guy constantly staring at us as we sipped our glasses of wine.
One of the reasons I didn’t travel for longer throughout India was the everyday attention from men. I had prepared myself for this, dressed and acted appropriately but the stares, calls and invasion of physical space just got too much to handle. Even when I asserted myself as my alter ego Tasty!
Throughout my backpacking I was used to sitting on a beach by myself with my book and music for company happy in my own world. The only place I felt I couldn’t do this was in North Goa (a world away from the relaxed vibe in South Goa) when I was sat on a busy beach full of Europeans, backpackers and Indians all enjoying the sun when I felt like a baby bird surrounded by preying vultures as 6 guys all jostled to sit near me. It started off as harmless chat but when I made it clear I didn’t want company they changed. It went from friendly to hostile in seconds. I made my excuses and left spending the rest of the day in my hostel garden.
I get extremely angry when you can’t enjoy simple things like sitting on a beach just because I am a solo female or having a drink with my best friend without unwanted attention from men. Sometimes you can’t change that you will get unwanted attention from the opposite sex which is really sad. But there are a few things that may help minimize the focus on you.
Dress appropriately – Cover up and follow dress codes especially in religious sites or to respect certain cultures.
Behave appropriately – No getting wasted and acting like an idiot as it isn’t safe or clever.
Stay in well-lit and busy areas so if you are feeling hassled you can ask others for help.
Remember not all men are like this. It happens everywhere but it doesn’t mean all men are leering annoyances just a handful which behave like this but the minority can unfortunately put a dampener on things for you.
You may want to check out a website called Everyday Sexism which is a place where women can share their stories of sexism experienced on a day-to-day basis. From the stereotypical builders cat calls to the outrageously offensive remarks or actions you may encounter. To stand up and say ‘this isn’t right’ without feeling like a prude or uptight feminist, just so we can show how widespread the problem really is and that you are not alone in feeling this way.
Have you ever felt this way when travelling?
