‘Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.’ Mark Twain’s wise words remind me to stop freaking out about entering my third decade on this planet. I remember being 18 and thinking how ancient 30 sounded, but now I’m here I don’t feel ancient in the slightest (The above image is from my birthday 2 years ago in India, where the ruddy hell has that time gone!?).
In fact, I still have moments that I’m sure 18 year old me would cringe in shame at how disgracefully I have matured. I don’t have a pension, I don’t really understand pensions, I rarely eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day and I still think cereal is an acceptable dinner choice. But what I have learnt with age is that I do know myself better, whether that’s thanks to travel and stepping out of my comfort zone or just growing in confidence as the years have added up.
I don’t feel the need to impress others like I used to. I was always desperate for the approval from others, and of course I do still care what people think of me, but not to the same anxiety inducing effect I used to feel. Now I try and be the best me I can be and if people like it then great and if they don’t, well you can’t win them all.
I wear what feels comfortable, so this doesn’t always equal sexy but you know what that’s ok. I dress for me and not to get guys to like me or girls to think I’m cool or trendy. I have never been the cool or trendy one and I’m not going to start now. I used to wear the tiniest, tightest outfits that I poured myself in, hoping to get attention but hardly being able to breathe, this is NEVER the best look.
Grey hairs are still to make an appearance and wrinkles haven’t fully taken up residence yet, but not all of me is a spring chicken. I can’t drink as much as I used to, hangovers hang about for way much longer and I need a lot more beauty sleep than I used to … or that’s just my excuse for loving my bed too much!
The older I’ve got the more aware I am that others around me are aging too. Since losing my grandparents, the reality that death is waiting for us all has never hit me so hard. I am desperate to make more of the time I have with my loved ones. To hear stories from their youth, to have regular chats and spend as much time with those most important to me. Time that I really cherish rather than take for granted.
So as more candles get added to my birthday cake (and you all know how much I LOVE cake!) I can hand on heart say I am unique, lucky, happy and content with who I am. Being 30 … Bring it on!
