Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none – William Shakespeare
In many magazine articles on relationships and couples quizzes the thing that crops up time and again is that to be in love with someone you need to trust them completely. It seems to be classed as one of the most important things in a healthy relationship and if this trust is broken it becomes a catalyst for change.
I guess this comes from the time we were living in a cave covered in hair that we had to trust the other cave inhabitants not to eat us for breakfast in the morning. Now you don’t have to worry as much if you will be eaten by predators but you still need to put your trust in many people throughout the day from your loved ones to your colleagues to complete strangers.
After a breakup, especially one that ended because of trust issues, it is extremely difficult to be able to or even want to put your trust in another whether that is just as a friend or as a partner. You were hurt before so surely it will happen again, right? Well not exactly, even though in your vulnerable post-breakup state of mind you think this will be the case, you need to believe in yourself that you are stronger to cope if it happens again.
When you share something with someone you are basically giving them a small part of you and asking them to take care and look after it. When they don’t do this it isn’t just their actions but the fact they had this power and didn’t respect what power they had.
People can break your trust in a matter of seconds but it is a much longer and usually painful process to build it back up. Sometimes it is an impossible task and that is when you know it is time to walk away as you deserve better, no matter how hard this feels at the time.
Going travelling helped me trust again. In my last travel post I mention that trusting strangers can be hard as you are subconsciously crossing your fingers and toes that they won’t be a serial rapist or murderer. When you trust complete strangers especially in alien situations and survive it then it’s like you do a mini high-five in your head. You put your trust in another and it paid off.
Do you agree that trust is one of, if not the, most important thing in a relationship? How have you overcome when people have broken your trust?